


Dear Diary

by Bolontiku



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 07:10:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17055449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bolontiku/pseuds/Bolontiku
Summary: The entries of Y/N who has moved to a new place and met the boy next door.





	1. Chapter 1

 

Italics = diary entries

*****

_7:51am June 18th_

_New place. New house. New school._

_This is the fifth time this year._

_I know that Greg is doing this for mom, the hospitals can only do so much. It’s just hard starting over. Greg says that I need to think about mom, I do. I do, he says that high school isn’t that important._

You watched the scenery of your new home as you sat in the back of the SUV your stepfather drove. You’d become accustomed to driving into a new town with him, your mom being transported via medical van. Sometimes you’d be allowed to ride with her, during her more lucid moments, sometimes Greg needed you to help with moving. You let out a small sigh, it was becoming easier, your possessions becoming less and less with more move per year.

The house was big and it took almost all day to unpack. Greg brought pizza and the both of you ate in silence, the pizza box sat between you two on an unopened box of kitchen supplies.

“Where you going?” he asked when you stood.

You shrugged, “I usually scope out the neighborhood…you know that.”

He nodded, “We’ll go see your mom in the morning,” he grabbed his keys. “Gonna stop by and pick something up to drink, don’t stay out too late?”

“Sure,” you answered, already out the door.

There was nothing to this town, it seemed. You had found a small park, a skating rink, and the mall. Pretty deserted place, not that you would be here that long to make any friends. You sighed and made your way back to the house.

_4:50pm June 18th_

_Met a guy here, he seems nice. So do his friends. Just gotta remember it won’t last, he’s cute though. Really really cute. I think it’s his smile. Okay, maybe its his dog. His name is Lucky, oh the guy is Clint Barton, his brother is pretty funny too. I think I might like it here._


	2. Chapter 2

Italics = diary entries

*****

_11:10 am June 20th_

_Mom is settled into the new hospital, she says the nurses are nice and even pointed out the one male nurse they have on staff. He’s super old, but I guess he is kinda cute. Still, kinda weird for mom to point it out, she keeps saying she’s alright. She gave me her bracelet, her sunflower bracelet. I don’t know what to do..._

You set your diary down biting down on your bottom lip and closing your eyes. You didn’t want to look at the truth, real life was horrifying. You wanted to hold on to...to...

“Hey!” You jumped, or rather flopped over onto the ground as something jumped on you. “Hey! Lucky!! Lucky, get offa her!!” his chuckle made your heart skip a beat, even as you tried to fend off the big Labrador which was currently determined to lick your cheek off. 

You gasped as Clint finally managed to drag his dog off of you and sat up. You shook your head when he mumbled an apology, “it’s fine, I was just daydreaming, shoulda heard you guys coming.” Looking up you met his blue eyes and licked your lips, his eyes moved to the small action and you felt your face heat. 

“So,” he cleared his throat as he sat down on the ground across from you, “you make it a habit to sit and daydream in the middle of the park?”

Running a hand through you hair you laughed, “well, I don’t have much to do, just sit around and wait.”

Clint looked at you, a smile playing at his lips, “well, if that’s true then you can come to the party later, unless your dad says no?”

“Stepdad,” you corrected fiddling with your bracelet. 

“He can’t say no if he’s not home.”

Clint laughed and reached up, brushing your hair from your face, “atta girl.”

_7:48 pm June 20th_

_I can’t remember the last time I went to a party. Greg is still at work, but I’m sure he won’t be home till after the bars close. It’s where he spends most of his time now, if he’s not at the hospital._


	3. Chapter 3

Italics = diary entries

*****

_11:52 pm June 20th_

_Greg was home, but he was busy with some work friends. I was able to sneak upstairs, I am pretty sure he didn’t realize I wasn’t at the house. The party was great. There were a lot of people there. Where they all came from I’m not really sure? Clint sure is popular. He walked me home and call me crazy but I think he wanted to kiss me?_

You sat back against your pillows, a small smile on your lips. The night replayed in your mind, you had met his friends. The quarterback, Steve Rogers, his defense teammates Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson. Clint’s best friend Natasha Romanoff, she was so pretty and handed you plenty of drinks. The host of the party, rich boy Tony Stark.  

There were a lot of others, he said they were all in the same grade and for once you felt excited for school to start. 

Natasha kept handing you red cups, laughing when Clint told her to slow down. “She’s Russian,” he apologized, “the only one that can really keep up with her is Tony and I swear he’s got a fake liver.”

“Hey now!” Tony interjected, brushing past Steve and Bucky, “just because you can’t keep up doesn’t mean that we’re not human!” his brown eyes zeroed on you, “you new here?” he asked.

“Ah, yes, just moved in,” you answered surprised that someone could get into your personal space so quickly.

Tony caught your hand in his and kissed your knuckles, “well, well, its so refreshing to have…someone…new around?”

Natasha laughed, “I think I win tonight, again!”

Tony whirled around narrowing his eyes on her, “now Nat!” he hiccuped.

Clint wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you away and led you into a slow dance. It felt nice. Nice to be a little drunk, to forget everything, to sway to random music and laugh with people your age.

  
You jumped at the rapping on your window. Looking at your door you could hear Greg and his friends laughing downstairs. Again the rapping sound at your window moving cautiously you pushed your curtains aside to reveal Clint outside. You unlocked the window and pushed it up reaching out for him as he stumbled in. “What are you crazy?!”

Clint chuckled, “well, kinda…look I forgot something-”

You frowned, “you forgot something? Look, you gotta be quiet, my stepdad has some work friends over-”

Clint reached up and caught your jaw in his hand, leaning down he pressed his lips to yours. 

_4:48 am June 21st_

_Clint just left, his lips are as soft as I thought they were. I can’t wait to tell mom, she’s been going on about how I should have a boyfriend. We talked for hours, it’s easy to talk with him. Everything just comes out. Says it’s gotta be hard for me, moving all the time. I feel different around him…_


	4. Chapter 4

 

Italics = Diary entries

WARNING: mention of death

*****

_3:15 pm June 23rd_

_The service was quiet and quick, especially since it was just the two of us here. We don’t have any friends or family here. Greg has arranged to have mom cremated. Can’t say that grandpa will have any arguments as he doesn’t even remember us._

Your lip quivered, you scrubbed at your face, exhausted from crying, exhausted from sleeping, exhausted from everything.

When you had arrived at the hospital with Greg the next day you had only had an hours sleep. Greg had come knocking on your door, the hospital had called, she wasn’t doing well. By the time you had arrived she was sleeping. Coma they called it. It was weird cause that only happened in daytime TV soaps right?

Everything went downhill pretty quick from there. It was only a day, you weren’t even allowed in her room again. Greg sat across the room from you with his head in his hands, you only had your music and diary, though there wasn’t anything you wanted to write.

By the end of the night they told you. 

Everything was a blur. You weren’t sure it was a headache or not. When was the last time you had eaten? Was it pizza? You remembered having pizza with Greg.

Greg, you heard him come in and went downstairs. “Greg!”

Several eyes turned on you and you stepped back and up a few steps, “who is that?” one asked.

Greg shoved the guy in the shoulder, “That’s my wife’s daughter, go back to bed,” he growled at you and without a second of hesitation you did.

You locked your door and hurried over to your bed, scream on your lips as a rap sounded on your window. Clint crawled through, barely making it inside before you threw yourself at him.

“Hey!” he chuckled, “haven’t seen you arou- hey,” he frowned looking down at you, “Y/N? Please? Tell me, hey, hey…I’m here, I’m here shh,” he soothed you, his large hands running up and down your back.

You told him everything and fell asleep in his arms. 

_June 24th_

_I don’t even know what time it is. Clint was here when I woke up, he stayed with me all night. I don’t even know if he slept? What am I going to do? Is Greg really responsible for me now? His friends are loud and I don’t like the way they look at me. Clint is so great, I feel better now that we talked._

_What am I going to do?_

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Italics = diary entries

WARNINGS: mentions of attempted abuse?? 

_***_

_June 30th_

_Happy Birthday mom. I miss you so much, Greg is different. So different without you here. Clint says he’ll keep me safe. When he saw the bruises he was so angry, but I swear Greg didn’t mean to. It was an accident, he grabbed me too hard. It’ll be okay, right?_

You could hear them downstairs. Greg’s new friends were loud, the house was always a mess now when they left. Your hands shook when some of them came and banged on your door. You weren’t sure of which one’s you weren’t sure if Greg was with them.

Nothing was the same. 

You swallowed down terror as the door seemed to bend inwards.

Grabbing your bag you shoved a few pieces of clothes in, you always had your papers with you, after the eighth move in a year you learned to keep them close. 

Greg had taught you that. 

“Sweetheart, just open the door… nothin bad is gonna happen…”

You had seen him do it plenty of times. He had been coming every night almost. Scrambling out the window you leaned back in to grab your diary. Unsnapping your sunflower bracelet you slid it in place and wrote one last entry.

_June 30th_

_Clint, I’m sorry. I’m leaving this here for you. I know you’ll find it. Thank you. You don’t know how much you have meant to me. I almost got normal cause of you._  

 


End file.
